Now is the Wintry Mix of our Discontent

THERE ARE SIX MAIN CATEGORIES OF KIDNEY STONES, but America is afflicted with the worst kind: Angry, old racist whites are still obstructing the world’s passage to the future, and won’t be able to move forward until they pass- *painfully* -from the body politic. The creation of Medicare for all (which is to say, for everyone besides them, since they get Medicare), proper EPA protections, Climate Change action, and a restoration of the kind of post-War liberal legislation that helped make them the richest (and luckiest) generation in human history: None of this will be addressed until they are blasted by the ESWL sound wave treatment of public action.

Ok, Boomer.

These #MAGA Trumpists people are a cowardly, superstitious, and yet curious lot. Their hero is anomalous for the American Alpha. Trump’s life is a catalog of failed marriages, failed businesses, public shame, financial disaster, toxic relationships, family tragedy, parental abuse, racism, “alleged” sexual assault, worker exploitation, exploitation of children, exploitation of illegal immigrants, a decidedly close friendship with Jeffrey Epstein, and a MOST intemperate disposition.

He’s not the “cool” guy who shows up at the party with the good drugs and the awesome stories. The guy who never loses his charm. Who all the guys want to be and all the girls want to be with.

Perhaps it is no coincidence that 2016, the year of his election, also saw the end of the “World’s Most Interesting Man” ad campaign for Dos Equis. The reign of the World’s Least Interesting Man had begun. Trump doesn’t read, he doesn’t think, he’s not clever or reflective or even a properly charming psychopath with a magnetic personality. Trump’s followers don’t worship him because they think he’s capable or wise. For a dying empire like America, their dream is not to be a Winner, it’s to be most egregious, sloppy Loser possible while suffering the least amount of consequences.

The Murderous gangster Tony Soprano, alcoholic philandering con man Don Draper, and corrupt, megalomaniac meth cook Walter White are not cautionary tales or character studies of damaged men with toxic masculinity. They’re ballers who do what they want.

Motorcycle enthusiast and gun-shootist Jax Teller, whose doomed life of violence and creepy Oedipal relationship with his mom were generally overlooked by fans who enjoyed his boss cigarette smoking.

THERE ARE FIVE MAIN CATEGORIES OF SNOWFLAKES: This is an important to know in case your kid is ever writing a paper for school and is too lazy to look up the answer on the Internet. and you want to show the lad that you’re smart and capable. Because at first, your kids believe everything you say, which shocks and kind of disturbs you because no one has EVER taken ANYTHING you’ve ever said seriously before. Now you have all this power on one impressionable mind. Then. just as you get used to it, he becomes a snotty teen who hates you and argues against everything that you say. If you tell him that it’s important to hydrate, he’ll refuse fluids because not drinking water is hip now for some reason. And just when you’ve written him off as a goddamned loser, he’s back in your life and he cares again and he takes you out to dinner at the Ruby Tuesday’s you used to take him to, even though you both hated going after around his 10th birthday, but you INSISTED on taking him, just to prove a point but you can’t remember what the point was anymore.

It turns out that all he wants is for you to sign as a rent guarantor for his new apartment in the disgusting part of town. And you know who he’s living with? That loser friend of his ‘Peter’ from high school and that drifter Stefan who was arrested at JFK for importing bananas.

All snowflakes can be basically be derived from these categories:
- Simple Prisms
- Stellar Plates
- Needles
- Stellared Dendrites
- Fernlike Stellar Dendrites

When you first see the snowflake, it’s unique and beautiful, like your child. Then it’s cold to the touch, like your child who no longer needs you. And when you try to hold him tight, he dissolves and leaves your life forever. But those tears in your eyes? Not tears at all, old friend. Just more snowfall. Because your boy was never that special to begin with. Better to let him go.

SNOW, the early 90s one-hit wonder made by ‘Snow’ was originally penned while the rapper was in lock-up for two attempted murder charges following a knife-fight. The song was an explicit threat against a neighborhood man that the rapper believed was going to snitch on him and secure his further imprisonment. It must have been a surreal experience for the guy when the song blew up that year; constantly hearing yourself called you out and told you’re going to die. Those dagger-ed words climbing the Billboard Charts, booming at the clubs, sing alongs at house parties, hearing it (licky boom-boom) boom out of car stereos next to you at a red light. Haunting you everywhere you go.

Toronto, 1992: White man invents reggae.

THE 2007 DOCUMENTARY BIG RIG is in many ways a good companion piece to the new Netflix film, The Irishman. It provides a slice-of-life look into the lives and challenges involved in the long-haul trucker profession; the one whose Teamster union once protected so stridently before its sharp decline in the last few decades. Trucking profession in the 21st century can entail a grim, difficult life of loneliness, long hours, sleeplessness, drug use, and financial struggle. For women drivers, sleeping at truck stops or in one’s own truck cabins can also be downright dangerous.

Like so many other sectors of 21st century America, the trucking profession has largely been outsourced into a ‘gig economy’ set-up, where drivers are sole the illusory benefits of owning their own vehicles and freelancing for companies. In reality, it’s simply a way for shipping companies to divest themselves of any responsibility to their workers, allowing them to eliminate benefits while pushing fuel and maintenance costs onto the drivers. There was even a clever bit of legislation passed several years ago colloquially called the ‘Convoy Law’, which forbids five or more trucks from riding close together on the highway at one time. While it is ostensibly for public safety, more than one trucker has grumbled his suspicion that it was put in place by business lobbyists to further weaken social ties in the industry and continue strangling of the unions.

Big boy rides big truck.

Still, there is a romance to the job that many of the professional drivers love. The thrill of the open road, the empowerment of running your own business, and- I can only assume, the stimulation of constant amphetamine use- makes for less monotony than those of us outside the trucking game might suspect. Plus, people FEAR THE POWER of an 18-wheeler on the highway, and they will get out of the way for you. On the other hand, there’s not really such a thing as a mere Big Rig ‘fender bender’, so you really need to stop texting-and-drinking-and-masturbating-and-driving if you want to avoid killing people.

https://tinyletter.com/The_Oculus_Online

This holiday season, sign up your friends! Or, despair :(