IT IS SAID THAT BAD PEOPLE GO TO HELL. But did you know that if you’re evil enough, there might be a prestigious job waiting for you there?

Donald Rumsfeld
(1932–2021)

JEFF BEZOS WENT INTO SPACE: I had given it even odds that he wasn’t going to come back; that him and his brother, some Blue Origin employees, and a freezer full of embryos were departing for Moon Base Amazon, where their minds were to be uploaded into a computer; the circuitry tended by Bezos clones whose higher cognitive functions were shaved down to make them pliable slaves. …


POLICE OFFICERS SHOT AN UNARMED BLACK MAN IN [place] ON [date] FOR A CHANGE: Here’s the thing, folks. Johnny Law and the Powers That Be have spent the last 20 years deciding that it’s better to have 10 African-American civilians die by way of police overreaction than risk one ‘LEO’ be harmed during a failed attempt at de-escalation. An endless catalog of court cases have made it implicitly clear that a cop’s life is more valuable than a black man’s life, so why would they take the risk? You, the public, were not consulted when this decision were made. …


COVID-19 is not in the news as much anymore, as the media narrative shifts to everyone trying (and often unable) to get one of those sweet vaccines, and that we are turning the corner. But the reality is that 5,114 died from COVID-19 on 2/4/21, which is the new single day record for fatalities n 2021. We are closing in on the 500K mark, and though about 65 million people have been vaccinated so far, there are hundreds of millions to go in the US and billions worldwide, and a massive shortage to handle. The message is clear: This is…


THE GREAT CONJUNCTION! In mid December, an alignment of Jupiter and Saturn that happens about every 25 years and is said to herald great portends and things and what-not, happened. This was the event which opened the doors/curtains to the Black Lodge in Season 2 of Twin Peaks.

Conjunction junction.

Come January and we’re still stuck in lockdown. Americans got $600 to gird them against 10 months of job loss/depleted savings (although lots of people still haven’t gotten their checks). Larry Summers and a bunch of plutocrats said that giving $2,000 or above might ‘overheat the economy’. The Democrats could have followed…


I DID SOME RESEARCH into the Star Wars Saga tabletop RPG (Book 9: “Scum and Villainy”) from the 00s, and it specifies that “Beskar Armor” CAN resist both blaster fire and lightsabers. For those complaining about the armor’s seemingly outsized capabilities on The Mandalorian, please note that it is pre-established canon.

Looks like Werner Herzog should have invested his funds in his next film,
instead of giving it to Din Djarin as payment for the delivery of Grogu!

HEY, HEY, NOW it looks like Drumpf L’Orange has lost the election to Wide Woke Biden!!! Let the sunshine in.

UNFORTUNATELY, the Democrats lost seats in the House, didn’t pick up the Senate (pending two forthcoming elections in Georgia), got blown out of the water in several races that…


I HAVE RETURNED, SORT OF. Your humble and wry observer of human folly has been working for the United States Census. It is an overworked and under-resourced organization, and most people don’t seem to have an understanding of why it’s important. You may be surprised to learn that your state is losing Congressmen and electoral votes soon, because you did not fill out your census papers! Won’t THAT be a surprise. Your Great President has, before his recent admittance to Walter Reed Hospital for COVID-19, done his level best to shorten/choke off/underfund the entire project, in a a further effort…


DOMESTICATED CATS! They are a thing that’s been around awhile. Since all the way back in history! Whether as pets, mousers, or purveyor of madness, you cannot deny that they have amassed great power on the backs of their human minions. How did this happen? There are theories.

In ancient, pharaonic Egypt, cats were considered blessed creatures. They killed the mice who ate your grain, and the snakes who bit your children. Their value led to to the rise of the ‘cult of Bastet’, a the patron goddess of all cats. …


YOU MAY NOT HAVE NOTICED, but there has been some trouble with the police in the last few months. Yes, it seems that the post-9/11 “War on Terror” has co-habitated and procreated with the Reagan-Era “War on Drugs” to produce some distinctly unattractive offspring.

Cool and normal.

And this isn’t just in your local Shire/Duckberg/Gotham/Mega City/Ecumenopolis! SOME might say that the police department in almost every US city is dominated by a clannish, hyper-militarized culture of violence, racism, and utter contempt for the very public that they’re supposed to be protecting. They are shockingly well-armed, and this is not by accident. The police…


THE BREAD RIOTS ARE COMING! In the first bit of overdue pandemic planning that the federal government has managed to muster, a surge of money and equipment has been given out to various law enforcement agencies. This includes millions of dollars for weaponry for the guards of V.A. clinics around the country, who weren’t armed at all until 2011, when the job was taken over by a private security firm.

In 2017, Ben Richards, the so-called ‘Butcher of Bakersfield,’ opened fire on a crowd of civilians that were only just rioting for bread. He would later go on face justice at the hands of the sadistic game show host that ruled America.

You might think: hey, now! Maybe giving people extended food and health benefits would reduce the possibility of societal breakdown in the next year, instead of handing money over to…


EVERYONE NEEDS TO GET BACK TO WORK, says our President, who spends most of his time golfing, watching/calling cable TV news, (allegedly) snorting diet pills, and using Twitter to encourage popular uprising against state governments who anger him.

Big Brother is shit-posting you.

LARRY SUMMERS IS COMING OUT TO PLAY-YAY as a member of Joe Biden’s team of economic advisors. For his next trick, he will deploy the exact same neoliberal strategies that got us to this Age of Ruination. Here are four of his greatest hits:

1) Playing a key role in the removal of the Glass-Steagall Act in the late 90s. Installed after…

The Blurst of Times

Because these are not the blest of times.

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